Can I Be Both Vulnerable and Strong at the Same Time?


strength and vulnerability

I travel a lot teaching and training doulas. I love this part of my job because I get to meet so many women. I get insight on what makes them tick and how they see the world. Sociology was always my favorite subject.

One time I was having dinner with a couple of ladies that were in the class I was currently teaching. We got to talking about some things that were really deep. I shared a part of me that isn’t the side I want every one to see. It’s the dark side of the moon. It’s the part of me that gets scared, and feels weak, and unworthy. It’s the part of me that wants to run and hide and stay out of the light.

One of the women was feeling particularly vulnerable, and was somewhat afraid to talk about what she was really feeling. That’s why I shared that part of me with her. I wanted her to see that everyone is human and everyone has a part of himself or herself that they would rather keep hidden.

I am a smart and savvy businesswoman, a mother of 5 children, and a wife to my husband of 20 years. I teach, train, and mentor women from all over the country. They look up to me. Sometimes they put me on a pedestal (something I am not very comfortable with, but I get it). They see me as someone they want to become. They look to me for advice. These women share some of their inner most thoughts and dreams. They see me as strong, confident, and secure.

She asked me how I could be so vulnerable. My response was “it is because of my vulnerability that I can be so strong. In my vulnerability is my strength. ”

Being vulnerable isn’t a weakness, or a flaw. In fact it’s just the opposite. I allow myself to be seen as vulnerable at times and that move shows more strength than any other one action I could take. To let someone in, to let him or her have a taste of what my biggest fears are, that takes a great amount of confidence.

If I can get real with who I am and what my biggest fears are it allows people around me to feel comfortable being themselves, and showing a little bit of vulnerability too, which is really us just being human. Staying authentic means showing who I really am and being unapologetic about it. Who I am is a strong woman that is vulnerable at times.

I invite you to get real with yourself first. That is the first step. Recognizing that you aren’t perfect. Believing that you, just how you are right now, are enough. You are enough to be loved. You are enough to be worthy. You are a human. Imperfectly perfect in every way. And you are vulnerable and you are strong!

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