Love is a verb, an action word. Love is not a feeling, it is the way someone acts towards and treats another. I learned this a long time ago. You can feel like you love someone but until you show it, the feeling won’t matter. You can’t convey a feeling to another, but you can act or treat someone with love.
What are some ways you can love someone? It starts by realizing that the feelings of excitement and euphoria are not what are important in a lasting relationship. You can certainly still have them, and I definitely do, but it’s more of a choice you make to continue to feel that way.
You have to choose to love the person you fell in love with. You have to choose them everyday. It’s really quite simple. You make a decision that every day you will put your relationship with the person you love at the top of your list.
You have a choice in how you feel. Do you get angry? Choose to not be offended. Do you get jealous? Choose to forgive. Are you bored? Choose to be happy and grateful for what you have. Do you seek revenge? Well, that’s not ever going to solve a problem now is it? These feelings and emotions are all just choices. Get control of your emotions by being mindful in what you choose.
It comes down to respect. Bob and I have arguments, I don’t know of a married couple that doesn’t, at least not one that is healthy. I mean we can get down with the best of them, that’s what having a passionate relationship will do. But there is a certain line we will never cross. It’s unspoken in that we have never sat down and gone over what’s okay and what constitutes “hitting below the belt” but we have a huge amount of mutual respect for each other and things that are said can never be unsaid.
We also never discuss our disagreements with anyone other than each other. Just like we never discuss our sex life with anyone other than each other. We keep these things private. No one needs to have any input in my relationship other than the person that is in it with me. He is the only one whose opinion matters.
Ultimately my relationship with Bob is my number one priority. I put it first, before anything else. I will fight to the death to keep it strong and healthy. I protect it. I choose to love him. He happens to do the same thing and that ‘s why it works. It’s certainly not perfect; we don’t always get it right but we choose to keep going. Real love is a choice and we choose it every day.